Writing 101: Funny

#writing101

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Retrospectively Funny.”

I had a hard time picking a word.

The first word I thought I’d write about was synchronicity.

“the simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.” Like picking the word and seeing the prompt from yesterday was the same thing I picked. That’s amore!

Also, my assignment was to write a list and I had been meaning to write this reading list for our legislators.

Well that worked out great.

The second word that came to mind was the word “grounded.” Something I aspire to be every day and when I’m not you’ll find me out there seeking assistance. Boring.

Funny.

I like.

So a funny thing happened this week.

Mostly everything I post on Facebook is important information about the environment. I do try to find funny memes. Funny memes and photos of my cat, dog and my grandson get the most likes. I could work on a piece for two days but everyone loves MeMe, Barney and Ethan.

IMG_0640

MeMe my cat

barneysarasota

Barney my almost 18 year old golden

So sometime over the weekend I posted this funny meme.

pantsonfire

Everyone could relate and I got some hysterical comments. If you know my circle of friends the conversation turned political and we were all cracking up.

Then later on I was watching “Flow: For the love of water” documentary and I went to google some about the fish in the Seine River changing sex.

I came across this article:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/testicleeating-fish-the-pacu-found-in-paris-with-fears-it-could-be-coming-to-the-uk-8798118.html

Go look at the photo. This fish with these freakish human teeth.

Testicle-eating fish, the Pacu, found in Paris with fears it could be coming to the UK

Pacu fish

So I tweet the article to my self. I also remember my fellow blogger and future Martin County Commissioner Jacqui wrote an article about these guys being in Lake Okeechobee!

http://jacquithurlowlippisch.com/tag/pacu/

Then this happened

There was some back and forth. It came at a very cranky moment because I felt like this person didn’t understand the context and I’m still having fantasies of inviting our legislators to Lake O for a swim.

Don’t take away my happy fantasy!

Out of my entire week of seriousness how can anyone take my laughter away.

not fair

Sadly it’s true. They are vegetarians. Which reminds me  of what my mother always said “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.”

This poor guy has seen this post so many time and he is in the business of fish. Now I feel terrible.

Apparently you eat these little guys with the big teeth. ( why would mother nature give them such big teeth. What vegetation grows that they need choppers like this to eat? Do I even want to know this.)

Apparently this guys sells them for food along with a bunch of other things that we all love like lobsta’s. Yes I know I spelled that wrong.

He did finally get the joke and I as usual learned something new.

and I  thought heard it all when I read about Dove AU Vin last week. But here’s how you cook the little guys.

So here is my gift to Squidbass-takes like chicken hahahahah

Here you go!

hahahha

Funny

Advertisements

Florida Back Roads: Yesterday’s Woad Twip , The Peace River and oh ya pollution.

Yesterday, I drove over to Sarasota to see my family and go to a party. It was a pretty special day. Two birthdays and we would find out a baby gender. I decided to take Barney because there would be a fenced in back yard and it’s cool enough if you leave early in the morning for him to be in the car.

Even though there is so much to talk about, think about and write about we have to remember why we are here in the first place.

It’s a great ride.

We started off in Jensen Beach from our little house on the hill and this glorious sunrise.

sunrisejensenbeach

Here is Barney my almost 18 year old golden. There’s nothing he loves more than a “Woad Twip.”

barneysarasota

Here’s the fog out at fog  at Alapattah Flats Management Area. I’m still in Martin County.

fogalflats

Here is our Martin Grade Scenic Hwy. It’s fabulous and worth the ride. The best ride would be coming from the west early in the morning because the light is amazing. Make sure you have a driver because there is no place to stop.  I looked behind me as I drove and it was like the light was following me down the road.

martingradescenichwy

The end of this road is the end of Martin County.

Through Okeechobee, Highland County and onto Desoto County which has a grand sign about tranquility and prosperity and something else I can’t remember.

I had to stop. The main reason was I really needed a bathroom and it’s very hard when you travel alone with a dog to find a place you can just run into and safely leave your dog in the car with the windows down. Barney barks not when you come towards him but when you leave. I’m sure if we were ever robbed he would bark as the robber’s were leaving  abandoning him. “Come back. Don’t leave me!”

Just an interesting note. In Arcadia, FL the streets are names for the Florida Counties. I’ve stopped there a few times and I really need to go back and I think it would a fun place to meet the kids in the future.

Check it out.

Arcadia is famous throughout Florida for its historic downtown antique district. Additionally, on the fourth Saturday of each month, vendors from surrounding locations take over our streets with even more wares and precious finds. Tucked between the shops, you’ll have the chance to enjoy cafés, home cooking, a tea room and even an old fashion ice cream parlor, complete with homemade delicious flavors, sundaes and shakes.

The second reason was I wized past this place so many times I just wanted to see what it was and take Barney for a little walk and shoot some photos.

Across the road there were guns going off. Hundreds of cars and people shooting guns and a big no trespassing sign.

This is where we went.

http://www.desotobocc.com/department/parks_recreation/desoto-veterans-memorial-park

DeSoto Veterans Memorial Park

2195 NW American Legion Dr Arcadia, FL 34266

“With boat ramp and picnic areas, this park is used frequently by groups and large gatherings such as Pioneer Days and Relay for Life. With the shade provided by the large oak trees, this is the perfect place to park and enjoy your lunch hour. This park also features restroom facilities.”

When traveling in Florida you always to leave a little early because there’s always someplace to stop with your dog and take a moment to breath and use the rest room.

Here is the Peace RIver.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peace_River_%28Florida%29

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (photos are mine)
DSC_0031

The Peace River is a river in the southwestern part of the Florida peninsula, in the U.S.A. It originates at the juncture of Saddle Creek and Peace Creek northeast of Bartow in Polk County and flows south through Hardee County to Arcadia in DeSoto County

DSC_0029

and then southwest into the Charlotte Harbor estuary at Port Charlotte in Charlotte County. It is 106 miles (171 km) long and has a drainage basin of 1,367 square miles (3,540 km2). U.S. Highway 17 runs near and somewhat parallel to the river for much of its course. The river was called Rio de la Paz (River of Peace) on 16th century Spanish charts. It appeared as Peas Creek or Pease Creek on later maps. The Creek (and later, Seminole) Indians call it Talakchopcohatchee, River of Long Peas.[3] Other cities along the Peace River include Fort Meade, Wauchula and Zolfo Springs.

DSC_0028

Fresh water from the Peace River is vital to maintain the delicate salinity of Charlotte Harbor that hosts several endangered species, as well as commercial and recreational harvests of shrimp, crabs, and fish. The river has always been a vital resource to the people in its watershed. Historically, the abundant fishery and wildlife of Charlotte Harbor supported large populations of people of the Caloosahatchee culture (in early historic times, the Calusa). Today, the Peace River supplies over six million gallons per day of drinking water to the people in the region. The river is also popular for canoeing.[5]

There were many Pleistocene and Miocene fossils found throughout the Peace River area, eventually leading to the discovery of phosphate deposits. Most of the northern watershed of the Peace River comprises an area known as the Bone Valley.

The Peace River is a popular destination for fossil hunters who dig and sift the river gravel for fossilized shark teeth and prehistoric mammal bones. Several campgrounds and canoe rental operations cater to fossil hunters, with Wauchula, Zolfo Springs, and Arcadia being the main points of entry.

http://www.protectingourwater.org/watersheds/map/sarasota_bay_peace_myakka/peace/

A number of major restoration activities are under way in the watershed, particularly in the Peace River region. The objectives of the SWFWMD’s Upper Peace River Watershed Restoration Initiative include the restoration of surface water storage and flows and aquifer recharge, as well as improvement to water quality and ecosystems that have been lost, degraded, or significantly altered. The initiative will provide a critical link to a major greenway that extends from Florida’s lower west coast up through the Peace River watershed and Green Swamp, and north to the Ocala National Forest. Projects undertaken through the initiative involve Lake Hancock, the upper Peace River, and the Peace Creek Canal.

Why can’t I just write a blog about the great things in Florida.

swaremoval

THREAT: PHOSPHATE MINING
HUGE PHOSPHATE MINES ARE DEVOURING THE PEACE RIVER WATERSHED, LEAVING BEHIND UNSTABLE CLAY POOLS THAT PREVENT WATER FROM REACHING THE RIVER — UNTIL THEY COLLAPSE.

Peace River Makes the 2004 Most Endangered Rivers List

Florida – America’s rivers and streams are becoming more polluted — and the White House and Congress are making a bad situation worse by cutting clean water law enforcement and spending on pollution prevention, charged American Rivers with the release of its 2004 Most Endangered Rivers report.

* On President Bush’s watch, EPA is issuing less than half as many “violation notices” to polluters who break the law, and is levying smaller fines, as well

* One-fourth of America’s largest industrial and sewage treatment plants are in “significant noncompliance” with water pollution standards at any one time

* The White House and Congress have declined to reauthorize the Superfund tax to ensure that polluters pay to cleanup toxic waste instead of the taxpayers

* On his first day in office, President Bush scrapped a proposal to require wastewater treatment plants to notify the public when the spill sewage into streams and rivers.

* In November 2003, the EPA proposed to sanction dumping fully and partially treated sewage into rivers when it rains.

* The federal government used to pay 20% of water infrastructure costs. Now it pays 5% and President Bush has asked the Congress to cut this by another third for 2005.

* Removed restrictions that protect streams from mountaintop removal coal mining

* Issued new nationwide permits for building shopping centers, tract housing, and corporate campuses on top of wetlands and flood-prone areas

* Discouraged federal field staff from protecting many wetlands and streams under the Clean Water Act.

* 51% of the mouths of America’s rivers were designated “impaired” in 2000, up from 37% in 1994

* EPA estimates that sanitary sewers overflow directly into streams, lakes, and estuaries 40,000 times and that as many as 3.5 million American get sick from swimming in water laced with sewage each year.

* Forty-three states have issued fish-consumption advisories along 500,000 miles of river

* The United States loses 60,000 acres of wetlands each year – increasing the frequency and severity of floods

Summary
Phosphate mining in the Peace River watershed has been the source of serious environmental problems for many years, and large new mines are planned. Florida’s Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) and the Southwest Florida Water Management District (SWFWMD) must take measures to safeguard the river and communities in the watershed from mining impacts, including protecting drinking water, and important tourism and commercial fishing industries.

I have to do more research. If any of you guys have any more info email me at clenz@mac.com.

Must watch Video on Bear Hunt. Then funny bear video.

IMG_1489

The national news (Newsweek) are painting us as ok with this bear hunt.

http://www.newsweek.com/florida-totally-cool-black-bear-hunting-season-347367

Asked whether bears are the biggest threat to bears, Wraithmell responds: “I don’t believe that’s supported by science right now…. In addition to habitat loss, major causes of mortality for bears in Florida are roadkill and euthanasia for nuisance bears.”

This is the video from the hearing in Ft Lauderdale.

http://thefloridachannel.org/videos/9215-florida-fish-wildlife-conservation-commission-part-4/

Here are some comments I jotted down as I listened.

“Letters after Letters and we are being ignored.” (Sound familiar?)
Vivian Handy : 28 biologists redefinition was not due to the population number but when it was delisted as threatened. This will effect the success of dening. The hunt will introduce noise and fears, pregnant mothers could be short and the cubs could be shot.
People talk about Florida’s reputation. (Just kick us in the head.)

http://www.newsweek.com/florida-totally-cool-black-bear-hunting-season-347367

Persons with masters wetlands biologists says this  ignorance greed trumping science

the humane society of the united states was there.

Chuck O’Neal: Your hunt is based on cherry picked data

We don’t even know how many bears we have!

You are appointed and not elected and you don’t have to listen to the people
we’ll see you court. We’ll see you in the media

Jon Ullman the sierra club: ” Its about development. ”

Your not going to get rid of the nuisance problem by opening up the hunt

If your going to kill something you should eat not stuff it.

I can’t believe these are the people making decisions for our animals.

There’s no explanation. This is rigged.

Ronald Bergeron, one of the commissioners,  said he can’t vote for any quota is against the hunt because he doesn’t see the science. He believes that bears are an icon of Florida. He think the train has moved very rapidly.
(at about 2:00) He lays out the scenario about when hunting is appropriate.

2:08 water in the WMAS  blamed sfwmd
position paper on water level (Have to go look for that)

Just so people know we have plenty of hunting in Florida but here on the FWC has proudly put a hunter with a dead bear on their website.

http://myfwc.com/hunting/

We NEED people to go hunting the Everglades for pythons and we need divers to go after Lionfish. We have alligator hunting, hog hunting, deer hunting, dove hunting, duck/waterfoul hunting, Raccoon, opossum, skunk, nutria, beaver, coyote, bobcat, and river otter, Quail, turkey and wild hogs.

Dove hunting really?

apparently so. If you google dove recipes there are plenty. Like this one.

Continue reading

Our STA 5/6 and their good neighbor US Sugar Corp

@SFWMD

@joenegronfl

Our STA 5/6  and their good neighbor US Sugar Corp

This past weekend my friend Jules and I went to visit STA 5/6. I wanted to see the STA’s. The Board of Governors were all over these places and how fabulous they were. I needed to see for myself. They could not have been talking about this place. Do you think they have even been here?

What is an STA?

Here’s a good link

http://www.sfwmd.gov/portal/page/portal/xrepository/sfwmd_repository_pdf/bts_sta.pdf

This is what they had on their website for STA 5

http://my.sfwmd.gov/portal/page/portal/pg_grp_sfwmd_landresources/pg_sfwmd_landresources_recopps_se_sta5

Photo on TOP

777_subsite_landresources

So this is what I thought I was going to be seeing

Stormwater Treatment Area 5/6 (STA-5/6)

Stormwater Treatment Areas (STAs) are constructed wetlands designed to aid in Everglades restoration. STAs remove phosphorus from runoff water by channeling it through shallow marshes filled with aquatic plants such as cattail, southern naiad and algae. These plants take up or absorb phosphorus from water traveling through, reducing to very low levels the amount of the nutrients reaching the Everglades or Lake Okeechobee.

STAs provide another bonus – prime home and visiting territory to wildlife including wading birds, ducks and American alligators. A variety of nature-based recreational activities are allowed at several of these wetland locations.

Located on approximately 17,000 acres in eastern Hendry County, Stormwater Treatment Area 5/6 (STA-5/6) has become one of the premier bird-watching areas in Florida through a long-standing partnership with the Hendry-Glades Audubon Society. More than 200 bird species have been spotted at STA-5/6 on the seasonal, guided bird-watching tours offered by the local Audubon chapter. The site is also popular as a waterfowl hunting area managed by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC).

Access to STA-5/6 was expanded in 2013 with a public use area with shell-rocked parking, an informational kiosk,

DSC_0084 DSC_0082 DSC_0081

DSC_0087 DSC_0086 DSC_0085 DSC_0084

restrooms

DSC_0080

Gross inside and filled with spiders.

and a trail that includes a covered shade shelter and a boardwalk. Hiking, bicycling and bird-watching are among the activities visitors can enjoy from the public use area. In addition, a portion of the Florida National Scenic Trail runs along the L-3 levee on the west side of the STA.

The Trip to STA 5/6

The road to STA 5/6

The road to STA 5/6

Signage for STA

Signage for STA

DSC_0039

sugar fields in Clewiston. Notice the brown stuff near the water.  herbacides?

DSC_0042

These are canal on the side of the road filled with vegetation.

DSC_0041

and then we got lost

DSC_0052

and then we were found.

So when you pull onto Deerfence Canal Road  the STA is straight ahead and to the right to US Sugar Corp.

DSC_0055

Gate for US Sugar Corp

DSC_0054

DSC_0060

This is the water coming from the west running along side US Sugar Corp

DSC_0056

This is the water going towards the STA. Note Brown decayed vegetation on right looks like its bee sprayed with herbacides.

DSC_0058

DSC_0067

This is the water on the other side of the street going toward the STA

Then we got here. I have no idea what this is or what’s it for.

DSC_0066

DSC_0063

DSC_0068

but then after the water looked like this.

DSC_0069

Again no judgement I have no idea what I’m looking at

We drove up the the STA’s

DSC_0074

Building at STA 5/6

DSC_0078

STA 5

DSC_0096

sta 6

DSC_0088

sta 5

DSC_0092 DSC_0091 DSC_0089

14918072

STA-5 is accessible from the north or south.

  • From the north: Travel about one mile east of Clewiston on U.S. 27 to C.R. 835, (Evercane Road), or find this intersection about 13.5 miles west of South Bay.Once on C.R. 835 travel south and west about 26 miles to Deerfence Canal Road.
  • From the south: Use I-75, travel about 25 miles west of U.S. 27 on I-75 turn north at Snake Road exit. Follow this road northward 25 miles to C.R. 835 and turn east three miles to Deerfence Canal Road.Once at Deerfence Canal Road go east one mile to STA-5, cross the bridge and proceed to the east end of the public parking area.

MAPS

http://my.sfwmd.gov/portal/page/portal/xrepository/sfwmd_repository_pdf/sta5-pub-access-102213_with_levees_closed.pdf

Here’s some bird watching information

http://my.sfwmd.gov/portal/page/portal/xrepository/sfwmd_repository_pdf/sta5_birdwatch_information.pdf

Check the eco-tour it looks like fun!

Again. I’m not a hydrologist or geologist but it seems very dry down there. The canals were low. What good fortune for US Sugar Corp to have all this water just next door! Isn’t it? Who needs a reservoir when you have all the water you need right next door. I could definitely see why no one wants to mess with this.

I’d definitely bring my own potty! and don’t forget to stop by the US Sugar Corp guardhouse that sits next to the STA and say hi.

If you call a politician a vulture isn’t that an insult to the vulture?

Here is the fabulous Sharon Lux from the Treasure Coast Progressive Alliance.

I love Protest Art!

I also love Vultures!

DSC_0054

Vultures are defenders of the Environment. These are birds that have a job.

http://www.examiner.com/article/the-beneficial-buzzard-clearing-the-air-about-vultures

One of the main misconceptions about vultures is that they spread disease. This is absolutely untrue. In fact, the opposite is true… vultures actually prevent viruses, bacteria and other pathogens from spreading in the environment. A vulture’s stomach acid is a unique compound that not only allows the bird to ingest disease processes, but also removes said disease from the environment. Once a virus, bacterium or other type of disease goes into the vulture, it never comes back out! Vultures help stop the spread of rabies, anthrax, cholera, brucellosis and many other pathogens that could otherwise harm other wildlife and even humans!

Fun Fact: The Cherokee name for vulture means Peace Eagle – because unlike most meat eaters, vultures do not kill for food.

They don’t kill the alive. They only eat the dead.

Vultures are my spirit birds.

DSC_0037

http://www.linsdomain.com/totems/pages/vulture.htm

The Vulture is the symbol of death and rebirth, the mother symbol,
and represents purification.
For those with this totem,
you will be noticed more for what you do than how you appear.

Vulture or Condor
teaches us how to soar above our limitations.

The Vulture promises us that no matter
how difficult things are at the moment,
rescue and change are imminent.

http://seeingmiracleseveryday.blogspot.com/2009/11/behold-turkey-vulture.html

“I learned that the turkey vulture’s wing span is approximately 6 feet wide (I can vouch for their incredible size from this animal soaring within 10 feet of me on my deck!). Their task in life is to clean up the mess, but an even more interesting aspect of the turkey vulture is that it is the only bird (or presumably only animal) whose feces is disease free. So the turkey vulture kindly cleans up dead carcasses or rotting flesh, then purifies them from any bacteria – making them perhaps nature’s most perfect cleansing animal. They struggle with take off and appear awkward in early flight, but once they are off the ground, they soar like eagles (often mistaken as such at a distance), and can fly for hours without ever flapping their wings, riding thermals and currents. The turkey vulture that appeared to me did absolute acrobatics around me, looping effortlessly in glorious flight.”

http://myfwc.com/wildlifehabitats/profiles/birds/raptors-and-vultures/vultures/

“Vultures are under state protection, therefore it is unlawful to shoot or harass them without a permit from the FWC.  If however, the vulture is tearing up a screen porch, or chewing up shingles or roofs, then you may want to consider scaring them with Pyrotechnics.  The Wildlife Services group of the United States Department of Agriculture at 352-377-5556 can provide more information.”

DSC_0039

So in this video RIck Scott came to the locks and while he was there the vultures showed up and when he left they left.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjcgdTvgTB0