The last few weeks for me have been the scariest of my life. After not feeling good for a few days I took myself to the urgent care center to be told to get my butt directly to the er. Which i did, after i went home and let my dog out to relieve himself I drove my self directly to the er where people asked me at least 50 times “Did I drive there.”
I knew something bad was wrong but apparently I had no idea how bad but after a lot of blood work, X-rays , a ct scan and a ultrasound i was told my gallbladder was a mess and it had to come out.
So great. For the last 33 years i had managed to stay out of the hospital. I had managed to not have a primary care physician for the last four years. Just the thought of going to the doctor and getting berated and yelled at totally bummed me out. I was very spoiled when I lived in Boca. I knew everyone especially the integrative docs and I knew they were willing to at least have a conversation with me. I had however, been seeing an acupuncture doc and trying to work on what i thought was my issues after getting a really bad case of shingles last feb. I wanted to heal myself from the inside out. And i was and I felt great, Until I didn’t.
I love these treatments. When i’m done i feel a tremendous calm. I had also been eating all kinds of good foods and looking at my diet.
So when people walked into my room and judged me on what they thought I was eating. I didn’t get upset. It just reminded me they we all need to listen a little harder and not judge. (https://cyndi-lenz.com/2014/06/16/healthcare-workers-listen-dont-judge/)
So out came my gallbladder. The second crappiest gallbladder of the week so far (always a bridesmaid! ) So great. I’ll go home follow all the directions and life will be good. I put on my best attitude of following directions and just get better and move on. Just a little blip. Certainly not the end of the world.
I went home and for a few days I was ok. And then I got this pain and the pain just kept getting worse. I took my pain meeds as ordered. I looked online. Other people had this pain. I called the doctors office and was told this was normal and to drink warm fluids and the co2 just had to work its way out of me. But it just kept getting worse until i felt like I had a hundred elephants sitting on my chest.
I went to the er where again initially the doctor said “its prob from your surgery” “Its very normal” and i did feel better when i got to the er. Then concerned faces started to show up. There were changes on my ekg from the week before. My troponin levels were up (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troponin). I had a ct scan to rule out a blood clot.
But I still felt ok. I wasn’t freaked out. I went with the flow. And i utilized all my skills. Meditation. Reiki. In-between the tests I chilled.
The next day I had a cardiac cath and stint inserted. The cardiac cat lab was amazing. It was like being in the middle of a spaceship. I wished i had my video camera to film it. Thats how cool it was.
How cool would that be to be able to talk and film yourself thru a cardiac cath.
I am just amazed at the technology and the skill of the doctors and nurses.
The moment that stint went into my heart vessel I felt different. I felt panicky and I instantly felt depressed. For a few hours. I went back to my room and conjured up every skill I had to pull myself back together. And I knew in an instant what people had been talking about.
From listening to patients for years. I knew something physiological had just happened and I need to corral it before it took over. Before I became some kind victim. I felt totally discombobulated.
Thank goodness for my little phone I was able to meditate and do some self reiki, My own reiki master tried to get in to the hospital and I think that would have been great but we just couldn’t make it happen.
Then I just needed to get home. I was so worried about my pets even though they had people looking after them i knew it wasn’t the same. I wanted my mommy. My family. I wanted my own food.
At this point I had not been to work for two weeks.
But instead of getting all stressed out – I went with the flow. It was what it was.
I made it home. I am on the road to feeling better everyday.
I had great medical team who really did the best the could. But I think there could have been a little more to make this an even better experience.
They had a nice chaplain person that came through and said prayers but I think what would be more effective is to have some one listen. Have someone teach a meditation. Do a little reiki session. I think this is what should be part of the team approach. Unfreak people out, Many do not have the skills to work thru this. Have it available for people that need it. The chaplain person didn’t even sit down.
There are all kinds of articles about depression and heart procedures on line. Most like everything else is cut and pasted without much thought. I really believe that cardiac patients would benefit from a title extra attention to their souls. After all they just had a procedure done to their heart.
If your loved one is in the hospital get in touch with your local reiki practitioners and or meditation instructor as an adjunct to the good medicine that is being practiced.
Here is a good article about reiki in Hospitals
Cyndi Lenz RN
Reiki Master, SC-c. MI-C, SMI-C